Tales from the Middle
Do you have an amusing Refereeing experience you can share, or perhaps encounters with players that are unique ? . Please forward to [email protected]. Please be assured no personal details will be published.
Do you have an amusing Refereeing experience you can share, or perhaps encounters with players that are unique ? . Please forward to [email protected]. Please be assured no personal details will be published.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG ?
Posted January 2022
Our cherished and esteemed leader, Mr Boris J announced restrictions were being relaxed, it was time for sport including grassroots football to re-start, I soon found Manager’s from various teams contacting me to seek my availability and in no time at all I was fully booked for the foreseeable future weekends.
My first game, a youth “Premier league” 11 aside match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, for an event of such significance, in readiness, I found myself preparing my kit and equipment which had been occupying a shelf in my garage for many "lockdown" months. Fortunately, the resident field mouse (who I have named Bobabella (Bob / Bella) so to avoid offense to the field mouse population as I am not sure if the little rodent is a he or she) who lives in my garage kindly decided not chew its way through my kit bag, my prized flags emerged from their hibernation in good order. I did find, not having deployed my refereeing skills for some time I was feeling a little nervous, I decided a search of the Kent FA website for any update to, or changes to the laws of the game was in order.
I arrived at the ground in plenty of time, disappointingly there was no fanfare of trumpets though I did find both teams already in their “warm up” phase including Managers using their football coaching boards to explain tactics to their admiring young players, while the weather was generally overcast, the FOP was dry and with sudden bursts of sunshine it it was turning out to be a pleasant afternoon, all seemed well and my nerves started to ease.
In a symbol of confidence I set out on my pitch inspection, the grass looked green enough, the lines freshly painted were an acceptable shade of white, the goals and nets were all secure. A few of the parents took the time to talk with me, a pleasing change and contrast to their normal direct and candid advice I can on occasions receive during a game.
I was starting to think what could go wrong ?
As kick-off approached I decided one final check would be shrewd, whistle, notepad, watch, cards, club linesman all briefed, yes, I was ready. I greeted both Captains and used my shiny new 2 pence so kick-off could be decided, by now I felt all was going extremely well and I was ever more confident, I was back in charge and would make sure I put in a good performance.
I carefully counted the number of outfield players, a visual check of both goalkeepers found them to be where I expected, the very knowledgeable (at least they assured me they were) club linesmen had taken up their positions, this was starting to feel all too easy.
I took a few steps back and with a blow of my whistle I expected the game to commence.
Then nothing, no one moved, no one said a word, within moments panic engulfed me, I had clearly missed something, but what ?, I scanned the FOP for clues and after what seemed like lifetime the home team manager shouted to me, “Ref !, do you think this would work better if you had a ball ?”, after all my checking and re-checking I forgot to make sure there was a ball on the centre spot for kick-off !.
Needless to say throughout the game I was frequently and unmercifully reminded of my blunder.
The moral of this story, when playing football make sure you have a ball.
Posted January 2022
Our cherished and esteemed leader, Mr Boris J announced restrictions were being relaxed, it was time for sport including grassroots football to re-start, I soon found Manager’s from various teams contacting me to seek my availability and in no time at all I was fully booked for the foreseeable future weekends.
My first game, a youth “Premier league” 11 aside match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, for an event of such significance, in readiness, I found myself preparing my kit and equipment which had been occupying a shelf in my garage for many "lockdown" months. Fortunately, the resident field mouse (who I have named Bobabella (Bob / Bella) so to avoid offense to the field mouse population as I am not sure if the little rodent is a he or she) who lives in my garage kindly decided not chew its way through my kit bag, my prized flags emerged from their hibernation in good order. I did find, not having deployed my refereeing skills for some time I was feeling a little nervous, I decided a search of the Kent FA website for any update to, or changes to the laws of the game was in order.
I arrived at the ground in plenty of time, disappointingly there was no fanfare of trumpets though I did find both teams already in their “warm up” phase including Managers using their football coaching boards to explain tactics to their admiring young players, while the weather was generally overcast, the FOP was dry and with sudden bursts of sunshine it it was turning out to be a pleasant afternoon, all seemed well and my nerves started to ease.
In a symbol of confidence I set out on my pitch inspection, the grass looked green enough, the lines freshly painted were an acceptable shade of white, the goals and nets were all secure. A few of the parents took the time to talk with me, a pleasing change and contrast to their normal direct and candid advice I can on occasions receive during a game.
I was starting to think what could go wrong ?
As kick-off approached I decided one final check would be shrewd, whistle, notepad, watch, cards, club linesman all briefed, yes, I was ready. I greeted both Captains and used my shiny new 2 pence so kick-off could be decided, by now I felt all was going extremely well and I was ever more confident, I was back in charge and would make sure I put in a good performance.
I carefully counted the number of outfield players, a visual check of both goalkeepers found them to be where I expected, the very knowledgeable (at least they assured me they were) club linesmen had taken up their positions, this was starting to feel all too easy.
I took a few steps back and with a blow of my whistle I expected the game to commence.
Then nothing, no one moved, no one said a word, within moments panic engulfed me, I had clearly missed something, but what ?, I scanned the FOP for clues and after what seemed like lifetime the home team manager shouted to me, “Ref !, do you think this would work better if you had a ball ?”, after all my checking and re-checking I forgot to make sure there was a ball on the centre spot for kick-off !.
Needless to say throughout the game I was frequently and unmercifully reminded of my blunder.
The moral of this story, when playing football make sure you have a ball.
WALK IT UP
Posted February 2018
For the time of year it was a fairly mild day, I arrived at the ground to find the pitch to be “playable” but muddy in places, grass patches were still evident clearly not wanting to give up its home despite being trampled on for a number of months. I carried out my FOP inspection so to give the appearance I was searching for the odd twig so I could be seen making the area safe for play. I then introduced myself to each Manager who with 5 minutes to KO were enthusiastically completing their respective team sheets. “I’ve 5 subs today Ref, is it roll on roll off” said one of the Managers, I pointed out that standard league rules applied. The goal keeper from Team A approached me and announced that he was “not the normal keeper” and could he wear the goal keeping top he had been given ?, he looked normal enough to me though perhaps needed a haircut. The top was in fact the teams “normal” goalkeeping top so not wanting to insult his respect for me I courteously agreed he could wear the top and commented on the colour which I said quite suited him, he seemed pleased and went off in search of goalkeeping gloves.
Still wanting to impress I pointed while counting 10 outfield players of one colour and 10 players of another colour, I must have looked authoritative and gave a cheery wave to each goalkeeper and my highly skilled club linesman’s, one who already had his mobile phone out no doubt checking the stock market and the value of his shares.
I got the game underway and settled down to my normal Refereeing weekend pursuit of chasing a plastic ball and 20 adults around a muddy field.
Early into the second half the “not the normal goalkeeper” (now referred to “the Keeper”) accidently got in the way of a shot, though his team mates congratulated him on his save, both teams then withdrew to the half way line anticipating he would kick the ball long though with one of his players shouting “walk it up”, the Keeper dropped the ball to the ground and shuffled forward with the ball at his feet making progress up the FOP, by now and way outside his own penalty area an opposing player started to intercept him, as the player came closer the Keeper suddenly picked up the ball and undertook a drop kick. Everyone, from players to managers and supporters were in stunned silence, just for a moment it seemed time was standing still, not a word was said though soon everyone focused their gaze towards me. I was in just as much shock as everyone else, briefly panicking thinking the Laws had somehow changed without my knowledge. I blew my whistle, followed by the Keeper shouting “WHAT!”, I pointed out he had infringed the Laws of the Game and I was awarding a free kick to the opposing team. He then tried to claim he was innocent blaming his own team mates for telling him to “walk it up” which he duly did so he thought he could also pick the ball up !.
Needless to say the Keeper was ridiculed for the remainder of the game.
The moral of this story – if you walk it up don’t pick it up.
Posted February 2018
For the time of year it was a fairly mild day, I arrived at the ground to find the pitch to be “playable” but muddy in places, grass patches were still evident clearly not wanting to give up its home despite being trampled on for a number of months. I carried out my FOP inspection so to give the appearance I was searching for the odd twig so I could be seen making the area safe for play. I then introduced myself to each Manager who with 5 minutes to KO were enthusiastically completing their respective team sheets. “I’ve 5 subs today Ref, is it roll on roll off” said one of the Managers, I pointed out that standard league rules applied. The goal keeper from Team A approached me and announced that he was “not the normal keeper” and could he wear the goal keeping top he had been given ?, he looked normal enough to me though perhaps needed a haircut. The top was in fact the teams “normal” goalkeeping top so not wanting to insult his respect for me I courteously agreed he could wear the top and commented on the colour which I said quite suited him, he seemed pleased and went off in search of goalkeeping gloves.
Still wanting to impress I pointed while counting 10 outfield players of one colour and 10 players of another colour, I must have looked authoritative and gave a cheery wave to each goalkeeper and my highly skilled club linesman’s, one who already had his mobile phone out no doubt checking the stock market and the value of his shares.
I got the game underway and settled down to my normal Refereeing weekend pursuit of chasing a plastic ball and 20 adults around a muddy field.
Early into the second half the “not the normal goalkeeper” (now referred to “the Keeper”) accidently got in the way of a shot, though his team mates congratulated him on his save, both teams then withdrew to the half way line anticipating he would kick the ball long though with one of his players shouting “walk it up”, the Keeper dropped the ball to the ground and shuffled forward with the ball at his feet making progress up the FOP, by now and way outside his own penalty area an opposing player started to intercept him, as the player came closer the Keeper suddenly picked up the ball and undertook a drop kick. Everyone, from players to managers and supporters were in stunned silence, just for a moment it seemed time was standing still, not a word was said though soon everyone focused their gaze towards me. I was in just as much shock as everyone else, briefly panicking thinking the Laws had somehow changed without my knowledge. I blew my whistle, followed by the Keeper shouting “WHAT!”, I pointed out he had infringed the Laws of the Game and I was awarding a free kick to the opposing team. He then tried to claim he was innocent blaming his own team mates for telling him to “walk it up” which he duly did so he thought he could also pick the ball up !.
Needless to say the Keeper was ridiculed for the remainder of the game.
The moral of this story – if you walk it up don’t pick it up.
TANGFASTICS
Posted December 2017
Arriving at the ground I was just in time to see the farmer leaving after ploughing the field (FOP) in readiness for spring, or at least that is what the FOP resembled, a ploughed field.
Never mind I thought, at least this will give a chance for both teams to demonstrate their amazing football skills.
After watching each team (men's) “warm up” routine which mostly consisted of kicking the footballs wildly in any direction one of the “Manager’s” called in his players which I thought would be for a pre-match team talk but in fact was to hand out Haribo sweets (which I later learned was all the footballer’s favourites, Tangfastics – other sweets are available).
In fairness, once the game was underway, for the first ten minutes both teams did in fact try and play football though I thought at times Welly boots would have been more appropriate than football boots, both teams soon found attempting to keep the ball on the ground was just not working as it bobbled and continually changed direction so they decided the best course of action was to change to the “Long ball game”. Wanting to provide excellent value for money I then spent the next 80 minutes pursuing the ball and players from one end of the pitch to the other. Come full time I was exhausted, never had I run so much, many of the player’s congratulated me on “keeping up with play” and other comments such as “well done Ref – you’re all right”. I staggered towards the Home team manager who paid my fee and offered some kind words as to my performance, I smiled trying not to collapse.
But all I really wanted was a Tangfastic.
Posted December 2017
Arriving at the ground I was just in time to see the farmer leaving after ploughing the field (FOP) in readiness for spring, or at least that is what the FOP resembled, a ploughed field.
Never mind I thought, at least this will give a chance for both teams to demonstrate their amazing football skills.
After watching each team (men's) “warm up” routine which mostly consisted of kicking the footballs wildly in any direction one of the “Manager’s” called in his players which I thought would be for a pre-match team talk but in fact was to hand out Haribo sweets (which I later learned was all the footballer’s favourites, Tangfastics – other sweets are available).
In fairness, once the game was underway, for the first ten minutes both teams did in fact try and play football though I thought at times Welly boots would have been more appropriate than football boots, both teams soon found attempting to keep the ball on the ground was just not working as it bobbled and continually changed direction so they decided the best course of action was to change to the “Long ball game”. Wanting to provide excellent value for money I then spent the next 80 minutes pursuing the ball and players from one end of the pitch to the other. Come full time I was exhausted, never had I run so much, many of the player’s congratulated me on “keeping up with play” and other comments such as “well done Ref – you’re all right”. I staggered towards the Home team manager who paid my fee and offered some kind words as to my performance, I smiled trying not to collapse.
But all I really wanted was a Tangfastic.
PREMIERSHIP
Posted - February 2017
I was appointed to referee on the (local) adult Premiership - Premiership, a term that generates visions of greatness, grandeur and pride. I was looking forward to this spectacle.
On arrival at the ground one of the players greeted me with “alright mate, what’s time’s kick off then ?”, I explained the scheduled time was due in 30 minutes. Another player approached me, “alright Ref” he says, “my Mum did not wash my black shorts, can I wear these red ones ?”.
As I commenced my duties surveying the FOP I witnessed these two “Premiership” teams warming up which was not the organised and disciplined routine I was expecting, more just kicking the balls anywhere while smoking and drinking cans of Red Bull - my heart was beginning to sink.
With the pre-match formalities complete, appropriate ends chosen and making sure each team had no more than 11 players on the FOP with the blow of my whistle the game was under way. The Centre Forward, of the team taking kick off (centre) passes the ball back to one of his Mid Field players, the then said Mid Field player passes the ball back to his Goal Keeper (a term I use very lightly here), the Goal Keeper takes a right footed swipe to clear the ball, only he completely misses the ball, the ball continues on its travels and comes to a rest in the back of the net.
An own goal, without the opposing team having any contact with the ball, a quick check of my timepiece shows only 6 seconds have ticked away.
I took a moment to ponder…… so this is Premiership football, an interesting term I thought, this is clearly going to be a long afternoon !
Posted - February 2017
I was appointed to referee on the (local) adult Premiership - Premiership, a term that generates visions of greatness, grandeur and pride. I was looking forward to this spectacle.
On arrival at the ground one of the players greeted me with “alright mate, what’s time’s kick off then ?”, I explained the scheduled time was due in 30 minutes. Another player approached me, “alright Ref” he says, “my Mum did not wash my black shorts, can I wear these red ones ?”.
As I commenced my duties surveying the FOP I witnessed these two “Premiership” teams warming up which was not the organised and disciplined routine I was expecting, more just kicking the balls anywhere while smoking and drinking cans of Red Bull - my heart was beginning to sink.
With the pre-match formalities complete, appropriate ends chosen and making sure each team had no more than 11 players on the FOP with the blow of my whistle the game was under way. The Centre Forward, of the team taking kick off (centre) passes the ball back to one of his Mid Field players, the then said Mid Field player passes the ball back to his Goal Keeper (a term I use very lightly here), the Goal Keeper takes a right footed swipe to clear the ball, only he completely misses the ball, the ball continues on its travels and comes to a rest in the back of the net.
An own goal, without the opposing team having any contact with the ball, a quick check of my timepiece shows only 6 seconds have ticked away.
I took a moment to ponder…… so this is Premiership football, an interesting term I thought, this is clearly going to be a long afternoon !
BEN AND 1966
Posted - August 2016
At that time I was playing for two teams, one of these teams was a feeder team for Sunderland. After I scored a hat - trick against their Reserve Centre half they sent a scout to see me play but as an ardent Newcastle fan I did not turn out. Needless to say I never played for them again.
But the story is only beginning................
My mother was asked by FIFA to work as an interpreter in Sunderland, she had already been retained through the Italian Consul working with the FA. At her suggestion Denis Follows ( FA Secretary ) recommended me to take her place and I received a letter from FIFA via Sunderland FA confirming the job.
A week or so previously I had failed to turn up to play in a match when Scouts from Sunderland had attended to watch me. In an earlier game I had scored a hat trick against one of their reserve sides but as a Newcastle United supporter it would have been a complete betrayal.
So when I got the letter from Sunderland about the interpreter job I thought that is was about me not turning up for the trial.
The real reason I did not get to the Final - My mother would not let me go !.
When I got to be interpreter she forbid me going clubbing with the Italian team, in any event I had a mid night curfew. When I got the Cup final tickets she refused to let me go, her reasoning was that I was still only 18 and it would be impossible for me to be home by midnight!
I gave the tickets to my friends !.
Posted - August 2016
At that time I was playing for two teams, one of these teams was a feeder team for Sunderland. After I scored a hat - trick against their Reserve Centre half they sent a scout to see me play but as an ardent Newcastle fan I did not turn out. Needless to say I never played for them again.
But the story is only beginning................
My mother was asked by FIFA to work as an interpreter in Sunderland, she had already been retained through the Italian Consul working with the FA. At her suggestion Denis Follows ( FA Secretary ) recommended me to take her place and I received a letter from FIFA via Sunderland FA confirming the job.
A week or so previously I had failed to turn up to play in a match when Scouts from Sunderland had attended to watch me. In an earlier game I had scored a hat trick against one of their reserve sides but as a Newcastle United supporter it would have been a complete betrayal.
So when I got the letter from Sunderland about the interpreter job I thought that is was about me not turning up for the trial.
The real reason I did not get to the Final - My mother would not let me go !.
When I got to be interpreter she forbid me going clubbing with the Italian team, in any event I had a mid night curfew. When I got the Cup final tickets she refused to let me go, her reasoning was that I was still only 18 and it would be impossible for me to be home by midnight!
I gave the tickets to my friends !.
LET’S WALK THISAWAY……
by Mike Coventry
Posted - July 2016
…… not thataway, thisaway we can be alone – sung many years ago by Johnnie Ray and Doris Day, perhaps a topic that readers may consider inappropriate for a website as auspicious as that of the Ashford & Weald Referees. But please read on.
Mark Clattenburg, wishing to speak to a defaulting footballer, bends his lower arm forward from the elbow and opens and closes his fingers as if addressing a child. On the other hand (no pun intended) Carlos Velasco Carballo stands to rigid attention, Sergeant Major fashion, and demands the offender should report to him immediately.
Martin Atkinson, bless (on this occasion) his cotton socks, walks gently forward, veering sideways with an arm movement that suggests “Let’s quietly discuss this over here.” Now thatstheway to do it!!!
“Tain’t fair throwing our chance to kissaway” is the continuation of the song but that, of course, has no relevance here!!
by Mike Coventry
Posted - July 2016
…… not thataway, thisaway we can be alone – sung many years ago by Johnnie Ray and Doris Day, perhaps a topic that readers may consider inappropriate for a website as auspicious as that of the Ashford & Weald Referees. But please read on.
Mark Clattenburg, wishing to speak to a defaulting footballer, bends his lower arm forward from the elbow and opens and closes his fingers as if addressing a child. On the other hand (no pun intended) Carlos Velasco Carballo stands to rigid attention, Sergeant Major fashion, and demands the offender should report to him immediately.
Martin Atkinson, bless (on this occasion) his cotton socks, walks gently forward, veering sideways with an arm movement that suggests “Let’s quietly discuss this over here.” Now thatstheway to do it!!!
“Tain’t fair throwing our chance to kissaway” is the continuation of the song but that, of course, has no relevance here!!
THE QUICK FREE KICK
by Mike Coventry
Posted - February 2016
Procedure:- For both direct and indirect free kicks (Law 13), the ball must be stationary when the kick is taken and the kicker must not touch the ball again until it has touched another player.
Distance:- If a player decides to take a free kick quickly (Guidelines) and an opponent who is near the ball deliberately prevents him taking the kick, the referee must caution the player for delaying the restart of play. If an opponent who is less than 10yds from the ball intercepts it, the referee must allow play to continue.
Referee signals (Guidelines):- The whistle is not needed to restart play from a free kick unless the appropriate distance is required.
Those that saw a St. Mirren game some weeks ago where one goalkeeper was in the habit of hanging on to the ball even longer than they do in the Premiership will have witnessed the punishment fit the crime. With the twenty-one other players some 15yds or more upfield of the penalty area the referee whistled, ran to the ‘keeper, took the ball from him and placed it on the ground. Two quick-witted attackers left static defenders in limbo and ran to the ball; one gently kicking it to his colleague who hoofed it into the back of the net. The goal rightly stood.
Your reporter could find no clues in LotG that supported the opinion of the Chiltern District Society’s February Guest Speaker, and a number of senior members, that quick free kicks should not be allowed around the penalty area. It wasn’t clear if that referred only to the attacking side, or the defence as well; and, more importantly, why at all. What is obvious is that it delays the restart of play!!
So come on, A&W, where do you stand on this?
by Mike Coventry
Posted - February 2016
Procedure:- For both direct and indirect free kicks (Law 13), the ball must be stationary when the kick is taken and the kicker must not touch the ball again until it has touched another player.
Distance:- If a player decides to take a free kick quickly (Guidelines) and an opponent who is near the ball deliberately prevents him taking the kick, the referee must caution the player for delaying the restart of play. If an opponent who is less than 10yds from the ball intercepts it, the referee must allow play to continue.
Referee signals (Guidelines):- The whistle is not needed to restart play from a free kick unless the appropriate distance is required.
Those that saw a St. Mirren game some weeks ago where one goalkeeper was in the habit of hanging on to the ball even longer than they do in the Premiership will have witnessed the punishment fit the crime. With the twenty-one other players some 15yds or more upfield of the penalty area the referee whistled, ran to the ‘keeper, took the ball from him and placed it on the ground. Two quick-witted attackers left static defenders in limbo and ran to the ball; one gently kicking it to his colleague who hoofed it into the back of the net. The goal rightly stood.
Your reporter could find no clues in LotG that supported the opinion of the Chiltern District Society’s February Guest Speaker, and a number of senior members, that quick free kicks should not be allowed around the penalty area. It wasn’t clear if that referred only to the attacking side, or the defence as well; and, more importantly, why at all. What is obvious is that it delays the restart of play!!
So come on, A&W, where do you stand on this?
HOW HIGH IS YOUR TOLERANCE LEVEL?
by Mike Coventry
November 2015
I was recently asked by Berks & Bucks FA to do a 5 to 4 assessment. I’ll tell you now; the chap was, in my opinion, a shoo-in for promotion. I considered his application of law and match control was a pleasure to witness, and I told him so in debrief. I also suggested he had a very high tolerance level.
I have neither whistled nor assessed on the League the two teams were registered with, and have never before witnessed, via some 250 Level 4 assessments and too many to count below that level, such constant usage of the ubiquitous ‘F’ word.
Now I’m not the worlds best at affecting great modesty or propriety (I looked up prude in my dictionary!) but the ongoing gratuitous swearing had me thinking I was back on National Service! I touched on it in debrief (you never know who might be listening!) but we agreed that attempting to prevent such behaviour, a common occurrence on television for instance, was more or less beyond prevention at senior levels of soccer.
But it wasn’t just the ‘F’ word; there was the ongoing fatuous appealing, sometimes from considerable distance, for offside, foul throws, foul tackles, you name it. The referee rode it all, concentrating on what, one has to say, really matters. A quiet word here and admonishment there, and eventually yellow cards at 80 and 89 minutes – and no errors recorded in my notebook.
So how high is your tolerance level?
by Mike Coventry
November 2015
I was recently asked by Berks & Bucks FA to do a 5 to 4 assessment. I’ll tell you now; the chap was, in my opinion, a shoo-in for promotion. I considered his application of law and match control was a pleasure to witness, and I told him so in debrief. I also suggested he had a very high tolerance level.
I have neither whistled nor assessed on the League the two teams were registered with, and have never before witnessed, via some 250 Level 4 assessments and too many to count below that level, such constant usage of the ubiquitous ‘F’ word.
Now I’m not the worlds best at affecting great modesty or propriety (I looked up prude in my dictionary!) but the ongoing gratuitous swearing had me thinking I was back on National Service! I touched on it in debrief (you never know who might be listening!) but we agreed that attempting to prevent such behaviour, a common occurrence on television for instance, was more or less beyond prevention at senior levels of soccer.
But it wasn’t just the ‘F’ word; there was the ongoing fatuous appealing, sometimes from considerable distance, for offside, foul throws, foul tackles, you name it. The referee rode it all, concentrating on what, one has to say, really matters. A quiet word here and admonishment there, and eventually yellow cards at 80 and 89 minutes – and no errors recorded in my notebook.
So how high is your tolerance level?
WILL HE? WON’T HE?
by Mike Coventry
October 2015
On a hot September Saturday afternoon and an extra-large pitch with a very slight incline, I considered the game I was watching to be ‘challenging’. I was assessing the referee for 6-5. The visitors took the lead three times, but the hosts eventually won.
The referee missed the first offside signal from both club assistants (5mins, 9mins). The visitors ‘keeper was penalised (38mins) for carrying the ball beyond the box – he’d been pushing the boundary a number of times and an earlier word on the matter would have been appropriate. The game restarted with an indirect free kick - whoops! (Refer Law 12, Direct Free Kick, 10th bullet point).
Our man in black’s signalling was akin to that of traffic policemen, with both arms in use even when it wasn’t advantage, but with the right arm dropped immediately an indirect kick was taken – contrary to Law 13 as we all know (don’t we?).
There was an abundance of whistle use – why do so many officials appear to overlook Referee Signals, Use of whistle, 5th/6th bullet points and subsequent paragraph? Then there’s Guidelines for Referees, Positioning with ball in play; so basic yet so often ignored.
Finally there’s my old favourite, barely a level 7/6/5 game without the issue raised, Law 3 substitution procedure, 5th bullet point – before entering the FoP, the substitute waits for the player he is replacing to leave the field. There is my second favourite: walking into ‘No Man’s Land’ with all the players behind you!! One day, though there’s no pleasure in it, I’ll have to tell someone “I told you so” ……
But not quite finally – we have the upside to consider. Employing a high tolerance level, with advantage foremost, the Referee was clearly in control of the match. His ongoing willingness to briefly clarify certain (correct) decisions, and to acknowledge input from his assistants, was significant - the quiet word and/or firm admonishment even more so. The fact that only two yellow cards were raised (78mins, 90mins) was strength, not a weakness. The handshakes post-match spoke volumes.
Following a delicious Carlsberg, I was leaving then did an about turn. At a table where a number of players were gathered I said “Excuse me lads, what did you think of the Referee?” “Great” said one, “Very good” another, “No bother” a third. “He should have given us three penalties” said a fourth, to ribald laughter from his team-mates.
I could be assessing him 5-4 next season.
by Mike Coventry
October 2015
On a hot September Saturday afternoon and an extra-large pitch with a very slight incline, I considered the game I was watching to be ‘challenging’. I was assessing the referee for 6-5. The visitors took the lead three times, but the hosts eventually won.
The referee missed the first offside signal from both club assistants (5mins, 9mins). The visitors ‘keeper was penalised (38mins) for carrying the ball beyond the box – he’d been pushing the boundary a number of times and an earlier word on the matter would have been appropriate. The game restarted with an indirect free kick - whoops! (Refer Law 12, Direct Free Kick, 10th bullet point).
Our man in black’s signalling was akin to that of traffic policemen, with both arms in use even when it wasn’t advantage, but with the right arm dropped immediately an indirect kick was taken – contrary to Law 13 as we all know (don’t we?).
There was an abundance of whistle use – why do so many officials appear to overlook Referee Signals, Use of whistle, 5th/6th bullet points and subsequent paragraph? Then there’s Guidelines for Referees, Positioning with ball in play; so basic yet so often ignored.
Finally there’s my old favourite, barely a level 7/6/5 game without the issue raised, Law 3 substitution procedure, 5th bullet point – before entering the FoP, the substitute waits for the player he is replacing to leave the field. There is my second favourite: walking into ‘No Man’s Land’ with all the players behind you!! One day, though there’s no pleasure in it, I’ll have to tell someone “I told you so” ……
But not quite finally – we have the upside to consider. Employing a high tolerance level, with advantage foremost, the Referee was clearly in control of the match. His ongoing willingness to briefly clarify certain (correct) decisions, and to acknowledge input from his assistants, was significant - the quiet word and/or firm admonishment even more so. The fact that only two yellow cards were raised (78mins, 90mins) was strength, not a weakness. The handshakes post-match spoke volumes.
Following a delicious Carlsberg, I was leaving then did an about turn. At a table where a number of players were gathered I said “Excuse me lads, what did you think of the Referee?” “Great” said one, “Very good” another, “No bother” a third. “He should have given us three penalties” said a fourth, to ribald laughter from his team-mates.
I could be assessing him 5-4 next season.
HEARTS OF OKE
by Mike Coventry
September 2015
(First published in 1992)
No, that’s not a spelling mistake; it’s a reference to the lingua franca of English-speaking South Africans. It first made an impact on me when, following a Veterans match, we were gathered around a table drinking beer listening to this height-challenged person telling an amusing tale where “this oke did this and the other oke did that”.
You see, they don’t use ‘chap’ or ‘bloke’ on the Reef, it’s ‘guy’ or ‘oke’. To this day, to my eternal shame, I still tend to use ‘guy’ but, thankfully, never ‘oke’.
At the same table, enjoying the laugh, was the tallest oke in the team. I don’t remember the name, but they were probably Megawatt Park (the club nearest to where I lived though that has nothing to do with the story that follows).
So the scene moves to Robertsham, a ground I always had difficulty finding (viva Tom-Tom, viva), and where I learnt that ‘Robot’, when seeking directions, means ‘traffic light’.
So there we (eventually) are, under floodlights, and all seemingly going well, until I become aware of an altercation. I turn, as the ball goes out of play, and there are Little and Large adopting an aggressive attitude. “Oh, Bother” I whisper, and approach the antagonists. To be honest, that’s about as much as I remember of words used to calm the situation, and I think I elected to caution them both for Ungentlemanly Conduct.
“Aren’t you going to send them off?” asked one Robertsham player with a large grin. “Nah” I said “You don’t want to beat nine men.”
We got on with the game and thereafter everything was okeydokey.
by Mike Coventry
September 2015
(First published in 1992)
No, that’s not a spelling mistake; it’s a reference to the lingua franca of English-speaking South Africans. It first made an impact on me when, following a Veterans match, we were gathered around a table drinking beer listening to this height-challenged person telling an amusing tale where “this oke did this and the other oke did that”.
You see, they don’t use ‘chap’ or ‘bloke’ on the Reef, it’s ‘guy’ or ‘oke’. To this day, to my eternal shame, I still tend to use ‘guy’ but, thankfully, never ‘oke’.
At the same table, enjoying the laugh, was the tallest oke in the team. I don’t remember the name, but they were probably Megawatt Park (the club nearest to where I lived though that has nothing to do with the story that follows).
So the scene moves to Robertsham, a ground I always had difficulty finding (viva Tom-Tom, viva), and where I learnt that ‘Robot’, when seeking directions, means ‘traffic light’.
So there we (eventually) are, under floodlights, and all seemingly going well, until I become aware of an altercation. I turn, as the ball goes out of play, and there are Little and Large adopting an aggressive attitude. “Oh, Bother” I whisper, and approach the antagonists. To be honest, that’s about as much as I remember of words used to calm the situation, and I think I elected to caution them both for Ungentlemanly Conduct.
“Aren’t you going to send them off?” asked one Robertsham player with a large grin. “Nah” I said “You don’t want to beat nine men.”
We got on with the game and thereafter everything was okeydokey.
YOU CAN’T DO THAT
by Mike Coventry
September 2015
It’s you County Referees I’m talking to, you ‘parks referees’ not operating on Supply League divisions that use qualified assistants. The FA’s ‘new guidance’ can’t apply if there are not neutral officials on the line.
Now you can award an indirect free kick against a goalkeeper controlling the ball with his hands for more than six seconds before releasing it from his possession. You can have a throw-in taken by a player of the opposing team if the ball was not delivered from the point where it left the FoP. You can award a direct free kick, perhaps even a penalty kick, should a player push or hold an opponent. You can do that because you’re a parks referee, you’re not amongst the upper echelons (where they would seem unable or unwilling to do it, and seemingly require no new guidance in these situations).
What you can’t do is penalise a player in an offside position should he (a) clearly attempt to play a ball that is close to him when this action impacts on an opponent, or (b), make an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball.
Well yes, it is interfering with play, but you’re a parks referee, the ‘greater clarity’ is too hot for you to handle. That offside applies, of course, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team………..
by Mike Coventry
September 2015
It’s you County Referees I’m talking to, you ‘parks referees’ not operating on Supply League divisions that use qualified assistants. The FA’s ‘new guidance’ can’t apply if there are not neutral officials on the line.
Now you can award an indirect free kick against a goalkeeper controlling the ball with his hands for more than six seconds before releasing it from his possession. You can have a throw-in taken by a player of the opposing team if the ball was not delivered from the point where it left the FoP. You can award a direct free kick, perhaps even a penalty kick, should a player push or hold an opponent. You can do that because you’re a parks referee, you’re not amongst the upper echelons (where they would seem unable or unwilling to do it, and seemingly require no new guidance in these situations).
What you can’t do is penalise a player in an offside position should he (a) clearly attempt to play a ball that is close to him when this action impacts on an opponent, or (b), make an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball.
Well yes, it is interfering with play, but you’re a parks referee, the ‘greater clarity’ is too hot for you to handle. That offside applies, of course, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team………..
I DON’T THINK MY WIFE
UNDERSTANDS FOOTBALL
Even though my wife does try and look interested when I talk about my Referee experiences I can always tell from her blank expression she really has no interest in football. I recount my latest game, explaining sometimes perhaps in too much detail all my decisions, yellow cards, red cards, and talk about all the playing characters I encountered (though I do tend to refer to them as inmates on day release).
I recently received notification I have been appointed to a Cup Final and promptly informed my wife, “that nice dear” came the reply. I went on to explain that I would have to be at the ground at least an hour before the game and that it is expected I wear Jacket and tie, at that point my wife actually looked interested and took a few moments to think about this great occasion, “I really hope they pay you for dry-cleaning your suit, all that running around in the mud it will get very dirty”
KENT REFEREE
March 2015
Even though my wife does try and look interested when I talk about my Referee experiences I can always tell from her blank expression she really has no interest in football. I recount my latest game, explaining sometimes perhaps in too much detail all my decisions, yellow cards, red cards, and talk about all the playing characters I encountered (though I do tend to refer to them as inmates on day release).
I recently received notification I have been appointed to a Cup Final and promptly informed my wife, “that nice dear” came the reply. I went on to explain that I would have to be at the ground at least an hour before the game and that it is expected I wear Jacket and tie, at that point my wife actually looked interested and took a few moments to think about this great occasion, “I really hope they pay you for dry-cleaning your suit, all that running around in the mud it will get very dirty”
KENT REFEREE
March 2015
WAS IT A MIRACLE ?
For the purpose of this short story, and to protect the innocent, I will refer to the two teams as Team A v Team B. For the most part it had been a very monotonous game, the level of football on display was at best modest, in fact players occasional quarrelling with each I found to be more interesting. With around 10 minutes left in the second half, Team A had managed to acquire more goals than Team B so the outcome of the game looked settled. (Just to digress for a moment, at one point the ball went out for a Team B throw in, the Team B player seemed in no rush to take the throw. A player from Team A protested against this time wasting. I pointed out that as their goals outnumbered Team B goals it was in fact to their (Team A) advantage. “Oh yeah Ref” “I didn’t think of that” said the player. I overheard his Manager, who was standing nearby say “Idiot”). So, back to my story, Team B was keen to try and reduce the deficit so launched the ball forward with their Winger off in hot pursuit, I also set off in hot pursuit (or it could have been a smart jog) in generally the same direction to “keep up with play”. Team A Defender crossed the FOP to meet the arrival of the Winger and accomplished a fairly decent sliding tackle to clear the ball though in doing so the Winger of Team B collapsed on top of Team A Defender – with me so far ?. Team A Defender then let out a awful scream and was clearly in agony writhing around on the ground holding his right leg. My first thoughts were to put my own, well-rehearsed emergency plan into action: 1) Administer lifesaving first aid. 2) Clear the field of players so the air ambulance could land. 3) Go to the pub for a beer (though not necessarily in that order). The Defender continued to howl clearly from the copious number of fractures to his right leg. I finally managed to get him to tell me what was causing the pain and he said “I’ve been studded Ref”. Heck ! this was more serious than I first thought. The player had by now been on the ground for some time and a shout came from one of his own players which echoed across the field “GET UP YOU TART”. Two more of his own team came and lifted him off the field and heartlessly dumped him on the (touch) side line. I got play back underway though was determined to keep a watchful eye on the stricken Defender. I must have had my back to him for around 90 seconds when I turned around to check on my patient - had I just witnessed a miracle ?, this player had somehow fully recovered, he was back he feet, had taken over running the line, was smoking and seemed to be texting !
Kent Referee
February 2015
For the purpose of this short story, and to protect the innocent, I will refer to the two teams as Team A v Team B. For the most part it had been a very monotonous game, the level of football on display was at best modest, in fact players occasional quarrelling with each I found to be more interesting. With around 10 minutes left in the second half, Team A had managed to acquire more goals than Team B so the outcome of the game looked settled. (Just to digress for a moment, at one point the ball went out for a Team B throw in, the Team B player seemed in no rush to take the throw. A player from Team A protested against this time wasting. I pointed out that as their goals outnumbered Team B goals it was in fact to their (Team A) advantage. “Oh yeah Ref” “I didn’t think of that” said the player. I overheard his Manager, who was standing nearby say “Idiot”). So, back to my story, Team B was keen to try and reduce the deficit so launched the ball forward with their Winger off in hot pursuit, I also set off in hot pursuit (or it could have been a smart jog) in generally the same direction to “keep up with play”. Team A Defender crossed the FOP to meet the arrival of the Winger and accomplished a fairly decent sliding tackle to clear the ball though in doing so the Winger of Team B collapsed on top of Team A Defender – with me so far ?. Team A Defender then let out a awful scream and was clearly in agony writhing around on the ground holding his right leg. My first thoughts were to put my own, well-rehearsed emergency plan into action: 1) Administer lifesaving first aid. 2) Clear the field of players so the air ambulance could land. 3) Go to the pub for a beer (though not necessarily in that order). The Defender continued to howl clearly from the copious number of fractures to his right leg. I finally managed to get him to tell me what was causing the pain and he said “I’ve been studded Ref”. Heck ! this was more serious than I first thought. The player had by now been on the ground for some time and a shout came from one of his own players which echoed across the field “GET UP YOU TART”. Two more of his own team came and lifted him off the field and heartlessly dumped him on the (touch) side line. I got play back underway though was determined to keep a watchful eye on the stricken Defender. I must have had my back to him for around 90 seconds when I turned around to check on my patient - had I just witnessed a miracle ?, this player had somehow fully recovered, he was back he feet, had taken over running the line, was smoking and seemed to be texting !
Kent Referee
February 2015
JELLY BABIES
There was an amusing story told at the recent funeral of Gordon Cox, a councillor in Haverhill, Suffolk, who was heavily involved in local football. He had a mischievous sense of humour, perfectly illustrated by a story from his refereeing days told by his son Stuart. Taking charge of a match with a player known to cause problems, he found the perfect way to keep him under control. After a foul, he blew his whistle and called the player over to ask him if he'd like a red or a yellow. Reluctantly he went for yellow, whereupon Cox reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag of jelly babies - all yellow! The rest of the game passed peacefully.
Non-League Paper 9.11.2014
There was an amusing story told at the recent funeral of Gordon Cox, a councillor in Haverhill, Suffolk, who was heavily involved in local football. He had a mischievous sense of humour, perfectly illustrated by a story from his refereeing days told by his son Stuart. Taking charge of a match with a player known to cause problems, he found the perfect way to keep him under control. After a foul, he blew his whistle and called the player over to ask him if he'd like a red or a yellow. Reluctantly he went for yellow, whereupon Cox reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag of jelly babies - all yellow! The rest of the game passed peacefully.
Non-League Paper 9.11.2014
IT'S A MAN'S GAME..........OR IS IT !
Women playing football seem to have adopted and understood the rules of the game very easily. Industrial language has presented no problem and is heard delivered in the feminine vernacular. However, some aspects of the ladies humour are radically different to that heard in the men’s game. In a recent ladies match I refereed the following happened:-
A forward was in full flight towards goal with a defender fast making ground and catching up.
One of the forward’s team-mates shouted.
“Man on!”
The forward shouted back.
“I wish!!”
Kent Referee
December 2014
Women playing football seem to have adopted and understood the rules of the game very easily. Industrial language has presented no problem and is heard delivered in the feminine vernacular. However, some aspects of the ladies humour are radically different to that heard in the men’s game. In a recent ladies match I refereed the following happened:-
A forward was in full flight towards goal with a defender fast making ground and catching up.
One of the forward’s team-mates shouted.
“Man on!”
The forward shouted back.
“I wish!!”
Kent Referee
December 2014
A LITTLE BIT OF KNOWLEDGE CAN BE A DANGEROUS THING
It was mid-morning on a warm Saturday in July, I was looking forward to the afternoon summer BBQ we had planned when the telephone rang, a somewhat flustered voice asked me to confirm my status as a Referee. He went on to explain that he had arranged a pre-season “friendly” though the Referee he had appointed had just let him down and he was eager to find a replacement. He sounded distressed (or perhaps just hung-over) and even though the game was in a town numerous miles away I consider myself to be a jolly good chap so I agreed to cover the game, he sounded rather grateful.
I quickly changed into my Batman outfit (the term my young daughter uses for my Referee kit) and jumped into the Batmobile (my Skoda) and set a course for said ground.
On my arrival I found both teams already in their warm up phase, mostly smoking and kicking their respective footballs uncontrollably in all directions including many finding their way over a fence which separated the FOP from residential homes. Shouts of “You can go and get that” from their Managers and the player would then disappeared over the fence to retrieve their bargain-basement football. Further shouts followed of “Get out of my garden” by angry homeowners surprised to find strange men searching through their roses. One or two players took a moment to scrutinise me and I overheard one say “never seen him before” though one player did greet me with “Alright Ref ?”
Similar to a working sheep dog I somehow managed to round up the players and with the blow of my whistle got the game underway. The first half was in general a fairly good tempered affair though I was occasionally subjected to the RSOP’s (Referee’s Standard Operating Phrases) such as “Never Ref ”, "Heeees all over him Ref", “How many more times Ref ”and “Keep up with play Ref”. When the half time interval arrived this gave me a chance to daydream, mostly about the ice cold beer that awaited my return home.
With the second half underway I soon had reason (and quite rightly so) to give a free kick to Team A. “Never Ref” (RSOP) came the expected response from one or two members of Team B which I ignored. The ball was played high into teams B goal area. Team A striker’s (I must emphasis I use the term “striker” loosely) jumped to header the ball, he completely missed but did make an agreeable clang as his head made contact with the woodwork, though of course the goal was made out of metal. He collapsed to the ground and did indeed look very dazed. I summoned his Manager who came racing onto the FOP with a very impressive looking First Aid Bag. He opened the bag and then began a frenzied search. My first thoughts, we were about to witness him preform open heart surgery though he finally found what he had been looking for, a small glass bottle, similar to a miniature vodka bottle. He unscrewed the lid and promptly shoved the open end up the player’s nose, after a second or two the player’s eyes burst wide open and with an horrific scream the player jumped to his feet, turned and ran at almost light speed towards the car park yelling profanities. The Manager offered his magical potion to nearby on looking players, they all stepped back waving their arms refusing his offer. I looked at the Manager with an inquisitive expression and with a smile on his face he proudly exclaimed “Well, that worked” clearly, his expert surgical procedure had saved this man’s life !.
When I later questioned the Manager he explained the bottle was in fact smelling salts, I asked if he was medically qualified to administer medicines, he found my question hilarious explaining that he had got the idea from a 70’s TV Cop show he had seen !.
A Little bit of knowledge…………………
Kent Referee
December 2014
It was mid-morning on a warm Saturday in July, I was looking forward to the afternoon summer BBQ we had planned when the telephone rang, a somewhat flustered voice asked me to confirm my status as a Referee. He went on to explain that he had arranged a pre-season “friendly” though the Referee he had appointed had just let him down and he was eager to find a replacement. He sounded distressed (or perhaps just hung-over) and even though the game was in a town numerous miles away I consider myself to be a jolly good chap so I agreed to cover the game, he sounded rather grateful.
I quickly changed into my Batman outfit (the term my young daughter uses for my Referee kit) and jumped into the Batmobile (my Skoda) and set a course for said ground.
On my arrival I found both teams already in their warm up phase, mostly smoking and kicking their respective footballs uncontrollably in all directions including many finding their way over a fence which separated the FOP from residential homes. Shouts of “You can go and get that” from their Managers and the player would then disappeared over the fence to retrieve their bargain-basement football. Further shouts followed of “Get out of my garden” by angry homeowners surprised to find strange men searching through their roses. One or two players took a moment to scrutinise me and I overheard one say “never seen him before” though one player did greet me with “Alright Ref ?”
Similar to a working sheep dog I somehow managed to round up the players and with the blow of my whistle got the game underway. The first half was in general a fairly good tempered affair though I was occasionally subjected to the RSOP’s (Referee’s Standard Operating Phrases) such as “Never Ref ”, "Heeees all over him Ref", “How many more times Ref ”and “Keep up with play Ref”. When the half time interval arrived this gave me a chance to daydream, mostly about the ice cold beer that awaited my return home.
With the second half underway I soon had reason (and quite rightly so) to give a free kick to Team A. “Never Ref” (RSOP) came the expected response from one or two members of Team B which I ignored. The ball was played high into teams B goal area. Team A striker’s (I must emphasis I use the term “striker” loosely) jumped to header the ball, he completely missed but did make an agreeable clang as his head made contact with the woodwork, though of course the goal was made out of metal. He collapsed to the ground and did indeed look very dazed. I summoned his Manager who came racing onto the FOP with a very impressive looking First Aid Bag. He opened the bag and then began a frenzied search. My first thoughts, we were about to witness him preform open heart surgery though he finally found what he had been looking for, a small glass bottle, similar to a miniature vodka bottle. He unscrewed the lid and promptly shoved the open end up the player’s nose, after a second or two the player’s eyes burst wide open and with an horrific scream the player jumped to his feet, turned and ran at almost light speed towards the car park yelling profanities. The Manager offered his magical potion to nearby on looking players, they all stepped back waving their arms refusing his offer. I looked at the Manager with an inquisitive expression and with a smile on his face he proudly exclaimed “Well, that worked” clearly, his expert surgical procedure had saved this man’s life !.
When I later questioned the Manager he explained the bottle was in fact smelling salts, I asked if he was medically qualified to administer medicines, he found my question hilarious explaining that he had got the idea from a 70’s TV Cop show he had seen !.
A Little bit of knowledge…………………
Kent Referee
December 2014
LAUGH IS THE NAME OF THE GAME ......
by Mike Coventry
…when, after the best Onion Bhajee I’ve ever eaten, followed by a superb Chicken Pathila, one discusses Freddie Frinton and his hilarious “Dinner for One” first shown on black and white TV in 1963 and subsequently every Christmas Day on German programming.
Not that the above has anything whatsoever to do with the target of this article. It happened to come up in conversation with a pal, we’ll call him Mike Too (he had a King Prawn Bhuna); he’s a QPR Season Ticket holder, so you’ll guess he has a sense of humour.
I had mentioned the November meeting of the Chiltern Referees Society and my disagreement with our interesting guest speaker Bill Jordan. He (Bill) felt that Lee Mason’s touchline chat with his Assistant re a penalty kick award was well done. I consider that, having heard the Assistants decision over the communication system, going over and talking to him took any pressure off the referee and loaded it onto the Assistant. It seems I was in a minority of one.
We then spoke of Man City’s ‘keeper, Joe Hart, and his now famous double touch IDFK inside the penalty area, the eagle eye of the assistant and hence the subsequent ‘goal’ correctly disallowed by Mike Dean, and the mayhem that ensued.
QPR supporter maybe, but Mike Too is no mug. “Why doesn’t the Fourth Official, on confirmation of the decision by the referee, have it announced over the tannoy?” Smart as your Favourite Reporter is, he couldn’t argue that point. Think of the aggro it could have terminated or at least minimised. Think how this precedent could enlighten crowds on other incidents.
On a roll, the Mikes looked forward. We have goal line technology, how long before cameras in the sky inform referees on offside situations and ball completely crossing touch lines? Perhaps we’ll even get a six-second buzzer.
by Mike Coventry
…when, after the best Onion Bhajee I’ve ever eaten, followed by a superb Chicken Pathila, one discusses Freddie Frinton and his hilarious “Dinner for One” first shown on black and white TV in 1963 and subsequently every Christmas Day on German programming.
Not that the above has anything whatsoever to do with the target of this article. It happened to come up in conversation with a pal, we’ll call him Mike Too (he had a King Prawn Bhuna); he’s a QPR Season Ticket holder, so you’ll guess he has a sense of humour.
I had mentioned the November meeting of the Chiltern Referees Society and my disagreement with our interesting guest speaker Bill Jordan. He (Bill) felt that Lee Mason’s touchline chat with his Assistant re a penalty kick award was well done. I consider that, having heard the Assistants decision over the communication system, going over and talking to him took any pressure off the referee and loaded it onto the Assistant. It seems I was in a minority of one.
We then spoke of Man City’s ‘keeper, Joe Hart, and his now famous double touch IDFK inside the penalty area, the eagle eye of the assistant and hence the subsequent ‘goal’ correctly disallowed by Mike Dean, and the mayhem that ensued.
QPR supporter maybe, but Mike Too is no mug. “Why doesn’t the Fourth Official, on confirmation of the decision by the referee, have it announced over the tannoy?” Smart as your Favourite Reporter is, he couldn’t argue that point. Think of the aggro it could have terminated or at least minimised. Think how this precedent could enlighten crowds on other incidents.
On a roll, the Mikes looked forward. We have goal line technology, how long before cameras in the sky inform referees on offside situations and ball completely crossing touch lines? Perhaps we’ll even get a six-second buzzer.
CRACKED!
86 minutes gone Team A Reserves had been losing 0-3 to Team B, the home team were now 3-3 and subject to an all out attack by the away team. A cross blasted in by an attacking winger was hoofed about 20 feet in the vertically by a defender to concede a corner. Directly below where the ball was bound to land was a very slow moving Car. The inevitable happened and the ball made a direct hit on the windscreen of the car bouncing back up to crash onto the roof causing the vehicle to stop.
The driver and his two male passengers got out and grabbed the match ball which got the attention of the players that wanted to get on with the corner. An argument then ensued between the players seeking to retrieve the sequestrated ball from and the car occupants. This got the attention of shoppers, other passers bye and causing a minor traffic jam. I quickly moved over to the escalating confrontation blowing my whistle as hard and loud as possible to control, investigate recover the ball and restart the game.
The heated exchange was more about recovery of the ball and the need to take the corner than to determine the cause of the conflict. The players would only return to the FOP after I ordered them and assured them that I would recover the ball. After placating the driver of the car (which he had borrowed) he showed me that the ball had cracked in half the windscreen. I took his details and wrote out for him contact information, my name, teams and league. I handed him the page from note book and he authorized his passengers to release the ball.
Kent Referee
86 minutes gone Team A Reserves had been losing 0-3 to Team B, the home team were now 3-3 and subject to an all out attack by the away team. A cross blasted in by an attacking winger was hoofed about 20 feet in the vertically by a defender to concede a corner. Directly below where the ball was bound to land was a very slow moving Car. The inevitable happened and the ball made a direct hit on the windscreen of the car bouncing back up to crash onto the roof causing the vehicle to stop.
The driver and his two male passengers got out and grabbed the match ball which got the attention of the players that wanted to get on with the corner. An argument then ensued between the players seeking to retrieve the sequestrated ball from and the car occupants. This got the attention of shoppers, other passers bye and causing a minor traffic jam. I quickly moved over to the escalating confrontation blowing my whistle as hard and loud as possible to control, investigate recover the ball and restart the game.
The heated exchange was more about recovery of the ball and the need to take the corner than to determine the cause of the conflict. The players would only return to the FOP after I ordered them and assured them that I would recover the ball. After placating the driver of the car (which he had borrowed) he showed me that the ball had cracked in half the windscreen. I took his details and wrote out for him contact information, my name, teams and league. I handed him the page from note book and he authorized his passengers to release the ball.
Kent Referee
Double - Take
Before I could start a recent cup match I had to have from each team the Pink / Green copy of the Team sheet.
One manager could not give me his sheet as one of his players had yet to arrive and he did not have the players date of birth. A detail which many (not unreasonably) consider yet another bit of uneccesary data the FA needs and not neccesary in the adult game. I disagreed and related an experience I had a few seasons ago in a County Cup match.
The visiting team were from the Tunbridge Wells area, about 15 minutes into the first half I had occasion to Caution an away player. In addition to taking his name I noted the number of his shirt. This was lively game and I gave a red card to a Home team player as well as Yellow to two of his colleages who were now down to 10 men half way through the second half. The away team equalized which hiked the tension of the game a further notch. I then had to issue a Caution to an away player who had recently come on the FOP as a substitute. Instantly I was surrounded by players from the Home team telling me that the subject player was the same player as I had Cautioned in the first half. He had the same surname but wore a different numbered shirt. They insisted that he was the same player wearing a different shirt and that he had been put back on by his manager. The player denied the accusation as did the manager when I went over to him to seek confirmation. At this point I too had my doubts but had to get on with the game and would check it further when I made my report.
Loosing in the last 5 minutes did not go down well with the Home manager who again complained that the same away player had been 'carded' twice should have been sent off and that had cost them the game. I again checked with the away manager who refuted the allegation.
I am the father of two sets of twins and I remember a couple of occassions when one doubled for the other. It was when I was doing my reports that it struck me that what could have happened was that the subtitute I cautioned, had replaced his twin brother who I had cautioned in the first half. The date of birth of both players on the team sheet were identical... Problem Solved. I rang the away team manager who confirmed his players were identical twins.
Kent Referee
Before I could start a recent cup match I had to have from each team the Pink / Green copy of the Team sheet.
One manager could not give me his sheet as one of his players had yet to arrive and he did not have the players date of birth. A detail which many (not unreasonably) consider yet another bit of uneccesary data the FA needs and not neccesary in the adult game. I disagreed and related an experience I had a few seasons ago in a County Cup match.
The visiting team were from the Tunbridge Wells area, about 15 minutes into the first half I had occasion to Caution an away player. In addition to taking his name I noted the number of his shirt. This was lively game and I gave a red card to a Home team player as well as Yellow to two of his colleages who were now down to 10 men half way through the second half. The away team equalized which hiked the tension of the game a further notch. I then had to issue a Caution to an away player who had recently come on the FOP as a substitute. Instantly I was surrounded by players from the Home team telling me that the subject player was the same player as I had Cautioned in the first half. He had the same surname but wore a different numbered shirt. They insisted that he was the same player wearing a different shirt and that he had been put back on by his manager. The player denied the accusation as did the manager when I went over to him to seek confirmation. At this point I too had my doubts but had to get on with the game and would check it further when I made my report.
Loosing in the last 5 minutes did not go down well with the Home manager who again complained that the same away player had been 'carded' twice should have been sent off and that had cost them the game. I again checked with the away manager who refuted the allegation.
I am the father of two sets of twins and I remember a couple of occassions when one doubled for the other. It was when I was doing my reports that it struck me that what could have happened was that the subtitute I cautioned, had replaced his twin brother who I had cautioned in the first half. The date of birth of both players on the team sheet were identical... Problem Solved. I rang the away team manager who confirmed his players were identical twins.
Kent Referee
1966 Was Better (no Adrian Chiles)
Random thoughts on the 2014 World Cup
WORLD CUP 2014 by Mike Coventry
Brazil v Croatia was a Tale of Two Penalties (one given, one not) and the surprise introduction of the Nishimura White Line (41/66mins – shame he forgot to use it at 24mins). Oscar worked hard to deserve his goal (90mins) and I though the Luka Modric hair-cut was nice. Mexico v Cameroon proved how everyone can be an expert after watching a situation at least 4 times with lines across the screen and views from back and front. So the poor Colombian assistant was wrong twice – he has my sympathy; and Mexico finally did manage to beat an African side at the World Cup.
It took Holland’s de Jong just 15mins to take up where he left off against Spain 4yrs ago and 4mins later Arjen Robben was allowed back onto the FoP to adjust a boot! RvP’s brilliant equaliser (41mins) was a joy for neutrals to watch but it all fell apart when he wasn’t penalised for a ‘travelling jump’ (64mins – back to ‘keeper, eyes not on the ball, a clear foul) and Iker Casillas subsequently demonstrated why he is no longer his club side’s first choice ‘keeper. Greece, who kept eight clean sheets during qualification, disappointed in falling 0-3 to Colombia at 5/57/92mins, but at least you could count on the lead official – USA referee Mark Geiger had a good game.
Uruguay v Costa Rica started as a bore but ended with much that could be talked about. The good news was CR’s 3-1 win after going a goal down, the lesser news was Herr Frick’s decision-making. Hugging arms from a free-kick resulted in the penalty from which Uruguay scored whilst wrestling at corner-kicks at the other end went unpunished. A horizontal challenge, studs leading, into the shin (80mins, score 1-2) was yellow carded, the kick at 94mins (score 1-3) saw red. Was it the timing or the score that made the difference? The officials left the FoP at half-time before the players!! England v Italy; three good goals but only one of them ours. No impact from the substitutions; but at long last we see the forwards mobile rather than static waiting for the ball to arrive.
Switzerland v Ecuador was boring for 45mins, or was I just suffering a surfeit of soccer? About to switch off just after the restart, the Swiss equalised, so I watched on to a dramatic 93rd min winner. Behrami displayed another of those nice hair do’s but his passing was rubbish. France v Honduras: I’ve never seen such a display of crude challenges, diving and rolling, and sometimes ‘miracle’ recoveries; nor anyone quite so stupid as Palacios in his earning of a second yellow. And now we have GLT – you’ll not convince me that the graphics shown truly represent the event; from the ‘live’ pictures that ball was not completely over the line…..
Germany v Portugal was a disappointment, a match possibly spoilt by the Serbian referee Milorad Mazic construing Pepe’s ‘aggressive attitude’ (36mins) as serious foul play or violent conduct, and not considering action in the German penalty area to be the penalty it clearly was. He was good at pushing players though!! Iran v Nigeria – Yawn!! But the Iranians were better than I anticipated. Belgium, on the other hand, failed to impress and would have succumbed to a successful Algerian penalty (21mins) had not two late substitutions proved decisive.
Prediction: Brazil will not win this World Cup. Yes, Mexico ‘keeper Ochoa denied them on three occasions, but, apart from the high tolerance level of the Turkish referee, there was nothing further to report from a goal-less draw. Australia v Netherlands: i) 1’-40” Mr deJ again!! ii) 19mins AR, great goal, but a better one 69secs later (Tim Cahill), iii) 52mins the worst penalty decision ever (not deliberate hand-ball), iv) 2 x RvP specials and it’s G’Nite Oz, 2-3 down, v) Seen better refereeing at Level 4.
Spain v Chile: 0-2, because IC slides when he should have dived, and punches when he should have caught. Adios España. Prediction: Mark Steiger whistles the Cup Final. Colombia v Ivory Coast – a ‘great game’ according to Gary Lineker – I must have been dozing! The match changed when Drogba came on - the Africans conceding two goals in 6mins!! Gervinho quickly pulled one back, but it was too little, too late. Howard Webb middled.
They think it’s all over – well it is now as England lose 1-2 to Uruguay because i) they weren’t good enough, ii) Suarez was, and iii) Uruguay skipper Godín stayed on the pitch despite being penalised for an elbow to the throat (26mins) having been previously cautioned for handball. And so a Fulham player confirms England’s first ever 2-game exit from World Cup Finals with Costa Rica’s Bryan Ruiz deservedly scoring the only goal of the game v Italy. This just moments after a disgraceful decline of an obvious penalty when Chiellini body-checked Joel Campbell – Enrique Osses (Chile) was initially 34m off the pace but cleverly appeared nearby when giving his decision. Prediction: He’ll not feature in the next rounds.
Switzerland v France was entertaining, with multiple interesting staistics as part of the commentary. Essentially France won the first 80mins 5-0 (and missed a penalty) while the Swiss replied with two in the last 10mins. Seven cracking goals in a well refereed match. When another anticipated goal-fest didn’t materialise we nearly had the Result of the Round. Four fine efforts by Iran failed to find the Argies net and they were denied an obvious penalty (that Serb again!). If you were writing the book you’d end with a Lionel Messi Special in added time. And so it was.
Following a dull first half, Germany v Ghana exploded for 20mins as Germany scored, fell behind, and equalised. The only yellow card was in added time – and it wasn’t Schweinsteiger!! Belgium v Russia was a bore until the last 10mins of normal time when Eden Hazard took over and at 87mins supplied Origi with an opportunity impossible to miss. 1-0. On the other hand Algeria again impressed, this time against South Korea, and three good first-half goals (25/26/37mins) meant I could go to bed early.
Chile looked to have the better of Holland despite Silva seeing Yellow, but didn’t have substitutes with the golden touch. Fer (Norwich City) scored while I was enjoying my Pasta Supper and du Pay cashed in during added time. Brazil’s Neymar netted two splendid goals (16/34mins) but Cameroon’s Matip nipped in (26mins) to catch his opponents napping – something I therefore wouldn’t be doing for 75mins at least. Fred (49mins) scored to ensure Brazil topped the Group A table, with Fernandinho making sure (84mins).
Having heard that the referee for Costa Rica v England was the bloke that did Holland/Oz I wasn’t surprised that Sturridge was denied two possible penalties. I’ll say no more. But then we had the Suarez clear bite and the Godín Goal in Italy v Uruguay – the one man shouldn’t have been on the FoP, (prediction) the other won’t be for a long time. But think how it all might otherwise have been…..
When the top scorers in a South American qualifying group (Argentina) meet the current African Champions (Nigeria) one could expect something special. How about a goal by Messi (1’-30”) replied to by Musa (3’-49”)? Attacks at both ends gave the impression further goals were coming and sure enough Messi again beat ‘keeper Enyeama (who had a good game) on 45+1mins. Of course, Musa had to reply, and this he did 3mins after the restart only For Rojo to mess it all up a further 3mins later. Another ‘keeper to star was Ecuador’s Dominguez who earned his team a draw with France despite Antonio Valencia’s somewhat harsh red card (48mins).
USA v Germany looked, throughout the first half, as if a draw had been negotiated – even the BBC Panel mentioned it. A different approach was obvious after the interval and unlucky 13 did for the US – Müller scoring the only goal (55mins). Belgium also looked to be settling for a bore draw with South Korea, but the red-carding of Defour for a stupid stamp made for an exciting back and forth in the second half – Vertonghen settling things at 77mins.
England, Italy, Spain, Portugal all out of the Competition whilst USA and Algeria survive – surely not the way it was meant to be!! Now the guessing game starts; who will be the ultimate winners? Will the non-monitoring of throw-ins and defenders ball placement at free kicks continue? Will impeding the progress of an opponent ever be penalised again? Will the ‘sweeping hands’ stop-it signal ever be meaningful and the penalty area wrestling properly punished? Somehow, I doubt it.
My prediction that Chile would beat Brazil was scuppered by a crossbar in the last minute of extra time (1-1) and a goal-post at the tenth kick of the penalty shoot-out (3-2). David Luiz had, according to FIFA, put Brazil ahead (17mins, but I think it was an o.g.) and Alexis Sanchez equalised (32mins) after two smart touches from an intercepted throw-in (terrible defending). Howard Webb handled the match confidently (disallowing a ‘goal’ by Hulk for controlling ball with upper arm) but apparently Brazil didn’t want him – he’d whistled the same fixture at South Africa 2010!! Colombia v Uruguay (2-0) gave us two stunning goals from James Rodriguez who demonstrated why he cost Monaco €M45. Colombia sat back in the second half, allowing ‘keeper Ospina to show he also had a skill or two. Bye-bye Uruguay.
I was prepping my opening line for Holland v Mexico thinking in terms of Ochoa was Man of the Match, Sneijder wasn’t when said Dutchman slams in a dramatic, though not totally deserved, equaliser (87mins). Hunterlaar’s excellently taken penalty (93mins, took 2mins from foul to goal!!) broke a lot of Mexican hearts. After a quiet first half (de Jong left after 9mins) it looked like Giovani dos Santos had scored the winner (48mins) as Mexico had all 11 players behind the ball thereafter – it didn’t quite work.
Costa Rica v Greece kept me up until after Midnight! A probable penalty the Aussie Ref didn’t give against Greece, one of a number of good saves by Navas for CR (36mins), and a caution for Duarte (42mins) was all the boring first half had to offer. Bryan Ruiz (get him back Fulham!!) scored (52mins) and Duarte saw a second yellow (65mins) whereupon it was just a case of when Greece would equalise. This, of course, was not until 90mims when Papastathopoulos netted his first for his country, and Greece were set to win in extra time. Navas denied them and they lost the penalty shoot-out 5-3. Viva Los Ticos, viva.
France v Nigeria was a tighter game then many might imagine, with Nigeria looking more likely to score much of the time. Pogba’s goal (79mins) and Yobo’s o.g. (90+1mins) saw France through. But if Referee Mark Geiger, from 14yds, had thought otherwise of Evra’s rather intimate penalty area version of the Conga, with Odemwingie (38mins), it could have been very different. The result of Germany v Algeria proved difficult to predict, with Rais a goalie par excellence at one end and Neuer more a sweeper than a ‘keeper at the other - 11 touches outside the penalty area in the first half alone. Typically, those looking forward to schläfchen will have been annoyed that Schürrle waited until 1’-35” into Extra Time to score, but Nigeria refused to fold, and even after Özil netted (119mins) there was still time for Djabour to slam in a consolation goal.
Argentina v Switzerland was, according to the BBC commentator, ‘tense and error-strewn’ and ‘take out Messi and they’re very ordinary’ which says it all really. Argentina still won via Angel Di Maria’s 117min goal, but Swiss Dric missed the easiest goal of the Tournament (38mins). BBC words used at half-time for Belgium v USA were ‘very pacey’ and ‘very entertaining’ but we still went 90mins without a goal. Per the norm, De Bruyne scored 2’-06” into extra time, then Lukaku at 104mins. Green replied (106mins) but it was too little, too late. Predictions: Neither Argentina nor Belgium will win this World Cup, I’ll enjoy the next two days off and so will the 42 Premier League players still involved.
France v Germany: Hummels scores with a neat header (12mins) and blocks a goal-bound shot (75mins) – if 0-1 can be a comfortable win, this was. Later, Brazil’s estrangeiros may have pleased the home crowd but I didn’t find them impressive. Nor too the Argentinian referee’s variable decision making which included totally ignoring blatant ‘white line’ encroachment at an attacking free kick (37mins) but having a gently rolling ball defensive kick retaken (54mins) – and they were the easy decisions!! Then there was the penalty for Colombia (77mins) – a DGSO? Silva’s goal (6mins) was as neat as his Yellow Card (63mins) was stupid – he misses the Semi-Final because he obstructed Ospinar’s clearance of the ball. David Luiz (not my favourite footballer) whacked in a stunning free kick (68mins) whilst James Rodriguez slotted home the penalty (79mins) to make the closing moments of some interest.
Argentina v Belgium was another bore. OK, Gonzalo Higuain scored well at 7mins, and a mazy run (52mins) saw him hit the crossbar. Belgium, using eight Premier League players, were disappointing; nothing further to report. Holland v Costa Rica didn’t offer the anticipated goal-fest, but you had to admire the skills and effort of Los Ticos whilst being appalled by Holland’s stars being consistently offside. Mr Irmatov, the Uzbekistani referee, was as good as any we’ve seen previously. The closing minutes and then extra time were pulsating and the shoot-out, complete with substitute ‘keeper Tim Krul went, probably deservedly, to Holland.
Brazil v Germany. Referee: Mr Marco Rodríguez (Mexico) – the man who missed the Suárez bite! He also missed any bite from the estrangeiros who leaked goals to Müller (unmarked, 10mins), Klose (22mins), Kroos (24/25mins) and Khedra (29mins). Germany relaxed, taking no risks, but we still had two more goals from Schürrle (69/78mins) before Oscar was rewarded for past efforts (90mins). 1-7, unbelievable!!! After The Lord Mayors Show - Holland v Argentina – 120mins of the dullest event I ever elected to endure. The Argies won the shoot-out (2-4) and my daughter won our bet!!
It took 1’-25” (Brazil v Holland) following his return from suspension for Silva to see yellow again, but it appeared more a DGSO than a penalty – but you don’t send off 2mins into a game do you? Do you? Certainly not Algerian Djamel Haimoudi, the first African referee to be appointed to a 3rd Place Play-off. RvP expertly slotted home the spot kick. On 16mins David Luiz must have had PSG worrying why they wasted €M50 on him, whilst Blind saw the way to make it 0-2. The Mexican Wave (31mins) failed to impress, as did numerous decisions, and Wijnaldum sealed matters on 90mins.
The first 90mins of the Final, however, produced only three shots on target (all by Germans), with my Man of the Match Manuel Neuer continuing his ‘ownership’ of his penalty area – and often beyond – making him appear at times an extra defender. He caused Higuain (20mins) and Palacio (97mins) to ‘miss the unmissable’ – a fault that could also be directed at Italian referee Nicola Rizzoli (ask Bastian Schweinsteiger). Shame my prediction re Mark Geiger failed. A brilliant Mario Götze goal (112mins) ensured justice was done and probably outshone the James Rodriguez effort.
I cannot agree with the BBC panel’s opinion that the Tournament was ‘outstanding’ – perhaps I should ask them about these random notes………..
Appeal: Can we now get rid of those awful red and yellow boots – they’re for women, not men. Question: Of the 32 x 23 = 738 players assembled for the World Cup Final Tournament how many had the surname Rodriguez? Yes, in Spain the name does have a smutty connotation!!
Random thoughts on the 2014 World Cup
WORLD CUP 2014 by Mike Coventry
Brazil v Croatia was a Tale of Two Penalties (one given, one not) and the surprise introduction of the Nishimura White Line (41/66mins – shame he forgot to use it at 24mins). Oscar worked hard to deserve his goal (90mins) and I though the Luka Modric hair-cut was nice. Mexico v Cameroon proved how everyone can be an expert after watching a situation at least 4 times with lines across the screen and views from back and front. So the poor Colombian assistant was wrong twice – he has my sympathy; and Mexico finally did manage to beat an African side at the World Cup.
It took Holland’s de Jong just 15mins to take up where he left off against Spain 4yrs ago and 4mins later Arjen Robben was allowed back onto the FoP to adjust a boot! RvP’s brilliant equaliser (41mins) was a joy for neutrals to watch but it all fell apart when he wasn’t penalised for a ‘travelling jump’ (64mins – back to ‘keeper, eyes not on the ball, a clear foul) and Iker Casillas subsequently demonstrated why he is no longer his club side’s first choice ‘keeper. Greece, who kept eight clean sheets during qualification, disappointed in falling 0-3 to Colombia at 5/57/92mins, but at least you could count on the lead official – USA referee Mark Geiger had a good game.
Uruguay v Costa Rica started as a bore but ended with much that could be talked about. The good news was CR’s 3-1 win after going a goal down, the lesser news was Herr Frick’s decision-making. Hugging arms from a free-kick resulted in the penalty from which Uruguay scored whilst wrestling at corner-kicks at the other end went unpunished. A horizontal challenge, studs leading, into the shin (80mins, score 1-2) was yellow carded, the kick at 94mins (score 1-3) saw red. Was it the timing or the score that made the difference? The officials left the FoP at half-time before the players!! England v Italy; three good goals but only one of them ours. No impact from the substitutions; but at long last we see the forwards mobile rather than static waiting for the ball to arrive.
Switzerland v Ecuador was boring for 45mins, or was I just suffering a surfeit of soccer? About to switch off just after the restart, the Swiss equalised, so I watched on to a dramatic 93rd min winner. Behrami displayed another of those nice hair do’s but his passing was rubbish. France v Honduras: I’ve never seen such a display of crude challenges, diving and rolling, and sometimes ‘miracle’ recoveries; nor anyone quite so stupid as Palacios in his earning of a second yellow. And now we have GLT – you’ll not convince me that the graphics shown truly represent the event; from the ‘live’ pictures that ball was not completely over the line…..
Germany v Portugal was a disappointment, a match possibly spoilt by the Serbian referee Milorad Mazic construing Pepe’s ‘aggressive attitude’ (36mins) as serious foul play or violent conduct, and not considering action in the German penalty area to be the penalty it clearly was. He was good at pushing players though!! Iran v Nigeria – Yawn!! But the Iranians were better than I anticipated. Belgium, on the other hand, failed to impress and would have succumbed to a successful Algerian penalty (21mins) had not two late substitutions proved decisive.
Prediction: Brazil will not win this World Cup. Yes, Mexico ‘keeper Ochoa denied them on three occasions, but, apart from the high tolerance level of the Turkish referee, there was nothing further to report from a goal-less draw. Australia v Netherlands: i) 1’-40” Mr deJ again!! ii) 19mins AR, great goal, but a better one 69secs later (Tim Cahill), iii) 52mins the worst penalty decision ever (not deliberate hand-ball), iv) 2 x RvP specials and it’s G’Nite Oz, 2-3 down, v) Seen better refereeing at Level 4.
Spain v Chile: 0-2, because IC slides when he should have dived, and punches when he should have caught. Adios España. Prediction: Mark Steiger whistles the Cup Final. Colombia v Ivory Coast – a ‘great game’ according to Gary Lineker – I must have been dozing! The match changed when Drogba came on - the Africans conceding two goals in 6mins!! Gervinho quickly pulled one back, but it was too little, too late. Howard Webb middled.
They think it’s all over – well it is now as England lose 1-2 to Uruguay because i) they weren’t good enough, ii) Suarez was, and iii) Uruguay skipper Godín stayed on the pitch despite being penalised for an elbow to the throat (26mins) having been previously cautioned for handball. And so a Fulham player confirms England’s first ever 2-game exit from World Cup Finals with Costa Rica’s Bryan Ruiz deservedly scoring the only goal of the game v Italy. This just moments after a disgraceful decline of an obvious penalty when Chiellini body-checked Joel Campbell – Enrique Osses (Chile) was initially 34m off the pace but cleverly appeared nearby when giving his decision. Prediction: He’ll not feature in the next rounds.
Switzerland v France was entertaining, with multiple interesting staistics as part of the commentary. Essentially France won the first 80mins 5-0 (and missed a penalty) while the Swiss replied with two in the last 10mins. Seven cracking goals in a well refereed match. When another anticipated goal-fest didn’t materialise we nearly had the Result of the Round. Four fine efforts by Iran failed to find the Argies net and they were denied an obvious penalty (that Serb again!). If you were writing the book you’d end with a Lionel Messi Special in added time. And so it was.
Following a dull first half, Germany v Ghana exploded for 20mins as Germany scored, fell behind, and equalised. The only yellow card was in added time – and it wasn’t Schweinsteiger!! Belgium v Russia was a bore until the last 10mins of normal time when Eden Hazard took over and at 87mins supplied Origi with an opportunity impossible to miss. 1-0. On the other hand Algeria again impressed, this time against South Korea, and three good first-half goals (25/26/37mins) meant I could go to bed early.
Chile looked to have the better of Holland despite Silva seeing Yellow, but didn’t have substitutes with the golden touch. Fer (Norwich City) scored while I was enjoying my Pasta Supper and du Pay cashed in during added time. Brazil’s Neymar netted two splendid goals (16/34mins) but Cameroon’s Matip nipped in (26mins) to catch his opponents napping – something I therefore wouldn’t be doing for 75mins at least. Fred (49mins) scored to ensure Brazil topped the Group A table, with Fernandinho making sure (84mins).
Having heard that the referee for Costa Rica v England was the bloke that did Holland/Oz I wasn’t surprised that Sturridge was denied two possible penalties. I’ll say no more. But then we had the Suarez clear bite and the Godín Goal in Italy v Uruguay – the one man shouldn’t have been on the FoP, (prediction) the other won’t be for a long time. But think how it all might otherwise have been…..
When the top scorers in a South American qualifying group (Argentina) meet the current African Champions (Nigeria) one could expect something special. How about a goal by Messi (1’-30”) replied to by Musa (3’-49”)? Attacks at both ends gave the impression further goals were coming and sure enough Messi again beat ‘keeper Enyeama (who had a good game) on 45+1mins. Of course, Musa had to reply, and this he did 3mins after the restart only For Rojo to mess it all up a further 3mins later. Another ‘keeper to star was Ecuador’s Dominguez who earned his team a draw with France despite Antonio Valencia’s somewhat harsh red card (48mins).
USA v Germany looked, throughout the first half, as if a draw had been negotiated – even the BBC Panel mentioned it. A different approach was obvious after the interval and unlucky 13 did for the US – Müller scoring the only goal (55mins). Belgium also looked to be settling for a bore draw with South Korea, but the red-carding of Defour for a stupid stamp made for an exciting back and forth in the second half – Vertonghen settling things at 77mins.
England, Italy, Spain, Portugal all out of the Competition whilst USA and Algeria survive – surely not the way it was meant to be!! Now the guessing game starts; who will be the ultimate winners? Will the non-monitoring of throw-ins and defenders ball placement at free kicks continue? Will impeding the progress of an opponent ever be penalised again? Will the ‘sweeping hands’ stop-it signal ever be meaningful and the penalty area wrestling properly punished? Somehow, I doubt it.
My prediction that Chile would beat Brazil was scuppered by a crossbar in the last minute of extra time (1-1) and a goal-post at the tenth kick of the penalty shoot-out (3-2). David Luiz had, according to FIFA, put Brazil ahead (17mins, but I think it was an o.g.) and Alexis Sanchez equalised (32mins) after two smart touches from an intercepted throw-in (terrible defending). Howard Webb handled the match confidently (disallowing a ‘goal’ by Hulk for controlling ball with upper arm) but apparently Brazil didn’t want him – he’d whistled the same fixture at South Africa 2010!! Colombia v Uruguay (2-0) gave us two stunning goals from James Rodriguez who demonstrated why he cost Monaco €M45. Colombia sat back in the second half, allowing ‘keeper Ospina to show he also had a skill or two. Bye-bye Uruguay.
I was prepping my opening line for Holland v Mexico thinking in terms of Ochoa was Man of the Match, Sneijder wasn’t when said Dutchman slams in a dramatic, though not totally deserved, equaliser (87mins). Hunterlaar’s excellently taken penalty (93mins, took 2mins from foul to goal!!) broke a lot of Mexican hearts. After a quiet first half (de Jong left after 9mins) it looked like Giovani dos Santos had scored the winner (48mins) as Mexico had all 11 players behind the ball thereafter – it didn’t quite work.
Costa Rica v Greece kept me up until after Midnight! A probable penalty the Aussie Ref didn’t give against Greece, one of a number of good saves by Navas for CR (36mins), and a caution for Duarte (42mins) was all the boring first half had to offer. Bryan Ruiz (get him back Fulham!!) scored (52mins) and Duarte saw a second yellow (65mins) whereupon it was just a case of when Greece would equalise. This, of course, was not until 90mims when Papastathopoulos netted his first for his country, and Greece were set to win in extra time. Navas denied them and they lost the penalty shoot-out 5-3. Viva Los Ticos, viva.
France v Nigeria was a tighter game then many might imagine, with Nigeria looking more likely to score much of the time. Pogba’s goal (79mins) and Yobo’s o.g. (90+1mins) saw France through. But if Referee Mark Geiger, from 14yds, had thought otherwise of Evra’s rather intimate penalty area version of the Conga, with Odemwingie (38mins), it could have been very different. The result of Germany v Algeria proved difficult to predict, with Rais a goalie par excellence at one end and Neuer more a sweeper than a ‘keeper at the other - 11 touches outside the penalty area in the first half alone. Typically, those looking forward to schläfchen will have been annoyed that Schürrle waited until 1’-35” into Extra Time to score, but Nigeria refused to fold, and even after Özil netted (119mins) there was still time for Djabour to slam in a consolation goal.
Argentina v Switzerland was, according to the BBC commentator, ‘tense and error-strewn’ and ‘take out Messi and they’re very ordinary’ which says it all really. Argentina still won via Angel Di Maria’s 117min goal, but Swiss Dric missed the easiest goal of the Tournament (38mins). BBC words used at half-time for Belgium v USA were ‘very pacey’ and ‘very entertaining’ but we still went 90mins without a goal. Per the norm, De Bruyne scored 2’-06” into extra time, then Lukaku at 104mins. Green replied (106mins) but it was too little, too late. Predictions: Neither Argentina nor Belgium will win this World Cup, I’ll enjoy the next two days off and so will the 42 Premier League players still involved.
France v Germany: Hummels scores with a neat header (12mins) and blocks a goal-bound shot (75mins) – if 0-1 can be a comfortable win, this was. Later, Brazil’s estrangeiros may have pleased the home crowd but I didn’t find them impressive. Nor too the Argentinian referee’s variable decision making which included totally ignoring blatant ‘white line’ encroachment at an attacking free kick (37mins) but having a gently rolling ball defensive kick retaken (54mins) – and they were the easy decisions!! Then there was the penalty for Colombia (77mins) – a DGSO? Silva’s goal (6mins) was as neat as his Yellow Card (63mins) was stupid – he misses the Semi-Final because he obstructed Ospinar’s clearance of the ball. David Luiz (not my favourite footballer) whacked in a stunning free kick (68mins) whilst James Rodriguez slotted home the penalty (79mins) to make the closing moments of some interest.
Argentina v Belgium was another bore. OK, Gonzalo Higuain scored well at 7mins, and a mazy run (52mins) saw him hit the crossbar. Belgium, using eight Premier League players, were disappointing; nothing further to report. Holland v Costa Rica didn’t offer the anticipated goal-fest, but you had to admire the skills and effort of Los Ticos whilst being appalled by Holland’s stars being consistently offside. Mr Irmatov, the Uzbekistani referee, was as good as any we’ve seen previously. The closing minutes and then extra time were pulsating and the shoot-out, complete with substitute ‘keeper Tim Krul went, probably deservedly, to Holland.
Brazil v Germany. Referee: Mr Marco Rodríguez (Mexico) – the man who missed the Suárez bite! He also missed any bite from the estrangeiros who leaked goals to Müller (unmarked, 10mins), Klose (22mins), Kroos (24/25mins) and Khedra (29mins). Germany relaxed, taking no risks, but we still had two more goals from Schürrle (69/78mins) before Oscar was rewarded for past efforts (90mins). 1-7, unbelievable!!! After The Lord Mayors Show - Holland v Argentina – 120mins of the dullest event I ever elected to endure. The Argies won the shoot-out (2-4) and my daughter won our bet!!
It took 1’-25” (Brazil v Holland) following his return from suspension for Silva to see yellow again, but it appeared more a DGSO than a penalty – but you don’t send off 2mins into a game do you? Do you? Certainly not Algerian Djamel Haimoudi, the first African referee to be appointed to a 3rd Place Play-off. RvP expertly slotted home the spot kick. On 16mins David Luiz must have had PSG worrying why they wasted €M50 on him, whilst Blind saw the way to make it 0-2. The Mexican Wave (31mins) failed to impress, as did numerous decisions, and Wijnaldum sealed matters on 90mins.
The first 90mins of the Final, however, produced only three shots on target (all by Germans), with my Man of the Match Manuel Neuer continuing his ‘ownership’ of his penalty area – and often beyond – making him appear at times an extra defender. He caused Higuain (20mins) and Palacio (97mins) to ‘miss the unmissable’ – a fault that could also be directed at Italian referee Nicola Rizzoli (ask Bastian Schweinsteiger). Shame my prediction re Mark Geiger failed. A brilliant Mario Götze goal (112mins) ensured justice was done and probably outshone the James Rodriguez effort.
I cannot agree with the BBC panel’s opinion that the Tournament was ‘outstanding’ – perhaps I should ask them about these random notes………..
Appeal: Can we now get rid of those awful red and yellow boots – they’re for women, not men. Question: Of the 32 x 23 = 738 players assembled for the World Cup Final Tournament how many had the surname Rodriguez? Yes, in Spain the name does have a smutty connotation!!
A football with two eyes
It was a bright sparkling sunny winter’s day, not a cloud to be seen, everyone was enjoying their football and so far I had not been unduly troubled.
Early in the second half I awarded a corner and I took up my position to witness the forthcoming event. Each player, from Defender to Forward were establishing their own position's within the penalty area though all done in good nature. The ball was played high into the penalty area though for the receiving players hands were shielding their eyes from the bright, low sun. Everyone jumped to receive to ball though at the time I thought more out of chance as I was sure the sun had obscured their sight of the ball.
To my amazement, the Defending goalkeeper, who also jumped with his arms outstretched grabbed with both hands the head of the Forward of the opposing team. Before I could react, with players now back on ground the goalkeeper looked at me in total horror, in between his hands he thought he had collected the ball only to find it had two eyes, and mouth and a nose !. Realising his mistake he apologised profusely to both me and the Forward. Fortunately, we both found it very amusing !.
Kent Referee
It was a bright sparkling sunny winter’s day, not a cloud to be seen, everyone was enjoying their football and so far I had not been unduly troubled.
Early in the second half I awarded a corner and I took up my position to witness the forthcoming event. Each player, from Defender to Forward were establishing their own position's within the penalty area though all done in good nature. The ball was played high into the penalty area though for the receiving players hands were shielding their eyes from the bright, low sun. Everyone jumped to receive to ball though at the time I thought more out of chance as I was sure the sun had obscured their sight of the ball.
To my amazement, the Defending goalkeeper, who also jumped with his arms outstretched grabbed with both hands the head of the Forward of the opposing team. Before I could react, with players now back on ground the goalkeeper looked at me in total horror, in between his hands he thought he had collected the ball only to find it had two eyes, and mouth and a nose !. Realising his mistake he apologised profusely to both me and the Forward. Fortunately, we both found it very amusing !.
Kent Referee
Women’s Soccer
A couple of years back I was encouraged to officiate in Women’s Soccer. I was told that there was a great shortage of qualified referees. Before I decided to take on these games I wanted to find out more.I contacted colleagues who had been doing it for a while. They all gave it a good press but all agreed it was very different.Women’s games are hard fought, skilful and teams better organized. The level of commitment to the game and respect for we men in black commendable. Nevertheless they are definitely different as I soon experienced. Here are two instances worthy of mention.
1. Men’s rules.
The attacking side had the opposition defence under siege in their own third. A ball was lobbed towards the penalty area for the centre forward to run onto. She was out pacing her marker who grabbed her pony tail and pulled her back.In my ten years as a referee I had never seen a player been fouled in this way. Nor can I recall it ever having been discussed in Referee’s workshops. I decided that to give the defender a yellow card and awarded a free kick.As I was about to restart play the victim calmly came over to the defender. She very calm and cool kicked her in the shin as she stood next to me. This action unsettled both teams and coaches from both sides came on. When I restored order I told the player that she would get a red card. Surprised she said that she had done nothing wrong just ‘getting her own back’. Everyone had seen her hair pulled so she had right to do what she did. I again told her what she did was against FA rules as she walked off she said, “Ref they are Men’s Rules not our rules. The bitch pulled my hair so what I did was right!”
2. Anxiety.
Half way into my first season I got to officiate in am emotionally charged semi - final. This was an evenly balanced game and both teams had played against each other before. Both teams had a reasonable number of supporters in the stadium backing their team. Twenty minutes or so into the game Team A launched its first attack down the left. Team B’s right back fell to the ground and appeared to be having difficulty breathing.Immediately her team mates went to her aid and the attacker kicked the ball out of play. It appeared to me that the player might have been having an asthmatic attack. At least one of her side said she was a nurse and told me that this had happened before. She explained to me that her team mate was suffering from an ANXIETY ATTACK. This had probably been precipitated by Team A’s sudden attack down her flank.
Kent Referee
A couple of years back I was encouraged to officiate in Women’s Soccer. I was told that there was a great shortage of qualified referees. Before I decided to take on these games I wanted to find out more.I contacted colleagues who had been doing it for a while. They all gave it a good press but all agreed it was very different.Women’s games are hard fought, skilful and teams better organized. The level of commitment to the game and respect for we men in black commendable. Nevertheless they are definitely different as I soon experienced. Here are two instances worthy of mention.
1. Men’s rules.
The attacking side had the opposition defence under siege in their own third. A ball was lobbed towards the penalty area for the centre forward to run onto. She was out pacing her marker who grabbed her pony tail and pulled her back.In my ten years as a referee I had never seen a player been fouled in this way. Nor can I recall it ever having been discussed in Referee’s workshops. I decided that to give the defender a yellow card and awarded a free kick.As I was about to restart play the victim calmly came over to the defender. She very calm and cool kicked her in the shin as she stood next to me. This action unsettled both teams and coaches from both sides came on. When I restored order I told the player that she would get a red card. Surprised she said that she had done nothing wrong just ‘getting her own back’. Everyone had seen her hair pulled so she had right to do what she did. I again told her what she did was against FA rules as she walked off she said, “Ref they are Men’s Rules not our rules. The bitch pulled my hair so what I did was right!”
2. Anxiety.
Half way into my first season I got to officiate in am emotionally charged semi - final. This was an evenly balanced game and both teams had played against each other before. Both teams had a reasonable number of supporters in the stadium backing their team. Twenty minutes or so into the game Team A launched its first attack down the left. Team B’s right back fell to the ground and appeared to be having difficulty breathing.Immediately her team mates went to her aid and the attacker kicked the ball out of play. It appeared to me that the player might have been having an asthmatic attack. At least one of her side said she was a nurse and told me that this had happened before. She explained to me that her team mate was suffering from an ANXIETY ATTACK. This had probably been precipitated by Team A’s sudden attack down her flank.
Kent Referee
Are you blind Ref ?
About ten minutes into a semi-final a player received an initial warning from the Ref. He had accused the Ref of being blind. Alleging that the Ref should have seen an obvious foul on one of his team-mates. Some short time later that same player was the subject of a crunching tackle. The incident was clearly seen by the Ref as it took place a few feet away. The Player was furious when the Ref ignored his pleas for a free kick and allowed play to continue. Once the ball went out of play, the player confronted the REF. He demanded to know why the Ref had not given a free kick with such an obvious foul. The Ref explained,
“Like you said before, I am blind.
I can only give what I see and I saw nothing”
Kent Referee.
About ten minutes into a semi-final a player received an initial warning from the Ref. He had accused the Ref of being blind. Alleging that the Ref should have seen an obvious foul on one of his team-mates. Some short time later that same player was the subject of a crunching tackle. The incident was clearly seen by the Ref as it took place a few feet away. The Player was furious when the Ref ignored his pleas for a free kick and allowed play to continue. Once the ball went out of play, the player confronted the REF. He demanded to know why the Ref had not given a free kick with such an obvious foul. The Ref explained,
“Like you said before, I am blind.
I can only give what I see and I saw nothing”
Kent Referee.
A case of mistaken identity
It was a goal kick, the ball was played long and high. A defending player (player A) ran forward to meet the ball with a header. Initially I thought the player would be unchallenged though I then noticed another player (player B) racing forward also to challenge for the ball. Both players jumped at the same time to meet the descending ball, one player behind the other, with player B completely wiping out player A in the process who ended up in a heap on the floor.
I let play continue.
After a few moments player A regained his senses, dragged himself to his feet and staggered towards me strongly protesting my decision not to award a foul and demanding a Red card against the offending player (B). By now both teams found the encounter somewhat entertaining as I endeavoured to explain that the offending player was in fact a member of his own team and if he so wished I would indeed send the player off !
Kent Referee.
It was a goal kick, the ball was played long and high. A defending player (player A) ran forward to meet the ball with a header. Initially I thought the player would be unchallenged though I then noticed another player (player B) racing forward also to challenge for the ball. Both players jumped at the same time to meet the descending ball, one player behind the other, with player B completely wiping out player A in the process who ended up in a heap on the floor.
I let play continue.
After a few moments player A regained his senses, dragged himself to his feet and staggered towards me strongly protesting my decision not to award a foul and demanding a Red card against the offending player (B). By now both teams found the encounter somewhat entertaining as I endeavoured to explain that the offending player was in fact a member of his own team and if he so wished I would indeed send the player off !
Kent Referee.
bring respect to your game
racism and discrimination does not maintain a place in our starting 11.
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